Scott, Kelly and me…

Today, at my bud Kary’s Church he played.  Kary took a risk and introduced his congregation to the BTL process of speaking and listening. Instead of giving what they’ve come to expect from Sunday morning service, he gave them a jolt and asked them to play along.  

They played.

I participated in the service by simply being in the pew and connecting to those that happened to choose the same pew as me.  

Random.

I met a couple in both of the services.  The first couple I already knew and I still learned a ton.  We hadn’t connected in years and, actually, I had never really asked them about their kids.  Today, we changed that.  Very cool.

The second couple, in the second service, I had never met.  Today, we changed that.  We connected for about 16 minutes.  I had never seen them before in my 50 years on this planet.  They had never seen me.  We had never spoken a word of English, our native tongue, in each others company.  We were complete strangers.  

Perfect.

As I turned my chair to face the two of them I leaned in to ask which of them would like to start.  Scott and Kelly both jumped in.  Away we went.  Time flew as they told me their deepest held belief that has deeply changed.  Oddly, one of theirs was one of mine.  We shared something.  We were, all of a sudden, more comfortable and more connected.  We felt like we had something in common.  Funny, huh.

The next go, Kary asked us to go deeper.  I love this process.  Humans want to be jolted, just not all of a sudden.  Gradually, and then all of a sudden…

Open.

Before I could ask Scott to go, he went.  Deeper that is.  He told me what had caused his belief change.  He just ripped open his shirt and showed me his scars.  No, not literally, but close enough.  He told me his story and all about the disease that is ravaging his body.  He told me that God had been preparing for this moment.  I asked him to tell me more.  He did.  He told me about their daughter and her disease.  He shared some of his pain and Kelly shared some as well.  Their transparency just blew me away.  

Today, I was reminded that we are all so alike and that we all want to be with another that understands who we are, where we’ve been, and where we’re headed.  We all share a universal language regardless of our native tongue.

All humans speak the language of…

PAIN.

And, all humans, no matter how they appear, want to be with another.  All of us are wired to be together, known, and accepted by a community that cares.  Remember, there is only one “l” difference between “alone” and “all one.”  That one “l” is…

LOVE.

Today, Scott, Kelly, and Chet tasted what God wants us all to drink in.  Today, Kary, set us up to experience community.  What an “l” of a difference…

Are you heading toward being alone or ALL ONE?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more…

Chess, Poker, Backgammon and you…

I’m told by my clients and I know this about myself, that I “hit” more than I “hug.”  In others words, I point out mistakes and areas for improvement at a greater rate than I hand out compliments and “atta boy’s.”  Let me go on record stating that I do NOT enjoy hitting any of my clients nor do I enjoy being hit myself.  If excellence is the target, painstakingly reviewing mistakes will be the process.  Let me illustrate.

Bill Robertie is a chess master, poker player extraordinaire, and a world champion at Backgammon.  He’s a rare bird indeed.  He made a living in the early 1970’s playing chess and stumbled into Backgammon and poker along the way.  Isn’t it funny how often we stumble…

Into happiness.  Yes it is and yes we sure seem to.  Moving on.

Rarely does an individual master one domain, much less three.  He is worth a study.  Here’s his magic formula for improving.  Here’s his signature habit.  You will see this signature habit, if you choose to study high performers, all the time.  There is a melody line to the magic.  Here it is.

He studies his mistakes.  

He focuses on his mistakes.  He consciously considers his errors.  He painstakingly reviews what happens after he plays a chess match, a poker hand, or a backgammon game.  He mostly wins, so he’s not reviewing his mistakes that, necessarily, cost him money.  He’s reviewing his mistakes that are in the way of his mastery.  He doesn’t hide his mistakes.  He doesn’t hope they magically go away.  He doesn’t get bummed and overwhelmed looking at the negative.  

Nope.  Not at all.

In fact, quite to the contrary, he gains energy where most lose it.  He gains energy studying what went wrong and what could be improved and then he ACTS upon what he’s learned.  This is simply the way performance gains are habituated.  Few are willing.  Masters practice fixing tiny mistake after tiny mistake regardless the outcome.  Masters are practically obsessed with getting better.  Most folks can’t face the facts and not lose hope.  Masters can.  Masters do.  Masters embrace, cultivate, and carefully investigate their mistakes.  AND, with an intense squint in their eye, masters lean in and do it again.  Magic.

Robertie is a master in the making.  Robertie is practicing.  He is practicing with a purpose.  His purpose is not to simply win more games.  His purpose is to learn from his mistakes and improve.  This is the master skill that every CEO and leader alike, must embrace if they are to travel the road toward high performance with a team that can’t wait for the next practice.  

Excellence simply requires such a price.

Next time we’re together building each other, get ready to study our mistakes and get ready to get after it.  Get ready to focus on small, seemingly insignificant nuances to your performance in work and life.  Get ready to rinse and repeat until it’s squeaky clean.  Get ready to get tired reviewing something that you thought was “good to go.”  Get ready to retrace your steps and focus on some mistakes.  Get ready to hear “good work,” from your builder followed by the figurative “blow of the whistle,” an intense squint in my eyes, and the command of good…

Now let’s do it again. 

Remember, excellence is our target and…

I believe in YOU.

Change is coming, period…

Relient K put out another home run with their new album release.  It’s titled, Forget and Not Slow Down.  I’m not sure where the title came from but I’m certain it’s got something to do with what they’ve been going through.  My favorite track…

Candlelight.

The reviews on the new release are somewhat mixed.  A bunch of their old fans are feeling that the new one is too different from their old sound.  I would agree…

That the sound is different.  

However, I like it.  I always wait to form an opinion on a new sound until I’ve listened to it at least half a dozen times and studied the lyrics. I’m not sure that the Band cares that much about what I think.  Very cool.

Wouldn’t it be great if your fans gave you the same long listen and benefit of the doubt.  The truth is that most of my clients are playing it safe.  They don’t want to rock their boat.  They are afraid of what others might think.  They just play it down the middle.  Do what the last generation mostly did.  Do what they’ve mostly always done.  Do exactly what the old boss would expect them to do.  Do what their “fans” have been buying and hope they keep it up.  

Buying, that is.

A few crazies take a different route.  This is not the route well traveled.  This one has a few more turns and a bunch more risks.  Quick deaths are not all that uncommon on this trail.  Surprisingly, so are the rebirths.  Huh?

Transformational leaders deeply change their system.  They try out a new “sound” because they have a sense and trust it.  They do not wait for lagging indicators to tell them it’s time for a change.  They are inspired and passionate and changing, by nature.  Amazingly they care about their customers but not to the point of being paralyzed.  

No panic.  No paralysis.  Nope.  Instead…

Candlelight.

Change is coming, period.  Normal systems wait for someone or something outside the system to jolt them out of equilibrium.  The outside jolt is coming.  AND, sadly, the outside jolt is not the one you want.  Want proof?  Study any acquisition and study how often the “jolt” works the way Wall Street advertised.  The truth…

Next to NEVER.

What would CLIF be today, if Gary hadn’t risked it all with a crazy chick bar?  Would Luna have a festival with another name?  

What would Patagonia be if Yvonne worried about making an $80 dollar, non stinky wool tee?  

If American Apparel played it safe would we still have any American company making American clothing?

What’s your vision for your collection?

Are you playing it safe or playing it exactly the way you want?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more…

IGNITION !

While in Lexington, Kentucky last week practicing with a strong team I had one of those special moments when you witness first hand, “IGNITION”, the moments that lead us to say………that is who I want to be!

Jacob is a young guy who is motivated, hard working and eager to learn. Jacob has been recognized by the Sr. Leadership Team as having strong leadership attributes and was invited to take part in the Built To Lead, 8 Essentials of Leading Teams Practice Sessions.

I was so inspired by his engagement, passion and commitment to the Built To Lead Process and learning outside the class, I had to sit Jacob down and find out more about what was going on! Simply put….what caused the “Ignition”….where was this emotional rocket fuel coming from?

Jacob shared with me the fact that Craig his boss had been an excellent mentor, always encouraging him to read, to learn and to never be lazy about personal development. Jacob started to see himself in a different light; from a different angle and it felt good…..he liked it! His wife encouraged his learning and suggested he take some courses at the local college. At first he thought they were boring and not very interesting. I think he said he dropped out of one course and did just OK in the other. He got a little discouraged but he wasn’t giving up!

Craig (his boss) was there with another book to read, encouraging words and Jacob’s wife encouraged him not to give up on school. Jacob knew in his heart things were changing, bigger responsibilities and recognition from others for his good work. He wasn’t totally sure what to do at times and the next step to take but settling for less was not the answer.

And then it happened, the Ignition! A leader who Jacob respected simply challenged him to find his own voice as a leader and grow other leaders in the organization. Jacob said it may not seem like much of a statement to some but it meant everything to him. Jacob’s words, “I’m not sure why but from that point on I got really focused about going back to school, reading, learning and being a better leader….. and I know I have a long way to go but I’m enjoying it.”

This is how Daniel Coyle who wrote “Talent Code’’ describes “Ignition”.

Ignition is about the set of signals and subconscious forces that create our identity; the moments that lead us to say….that is who I want to be!

What ignited the progress wasn’t any innate skill or gene. It was a small, ephemeral, yet powerful idea: a vision of their ideal future selves, a vision that oriented, energized, and accelerated progress.

I was truly Inspired by Jacob’s story and energized to continue my own quest for mastery as a Builder of Leaders.

Do you have a vision of your future ideal self that is energizing and accelerating progress in your life?

What are your Big Dreams….. emotional rocket fuel comes from those big dreams……the passion you feel in your gut….your heart!

What are you learning that’s new and exciting?

‘Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is a triumph of some enthusiasm.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thinking of them…

Men.  

Yes, this message is directed at men, primarily.  Why?  Because…

We are NOT, historically, very good at this.  

Men, let this serve as a reminder.  If you’re already a master here, you can move on to something more meaningful and more worthy of your attention.  You can move on to closing a deal, calling back a potential client, solving a pieces/parts problem at the factory, or fixing any number of other personnel or some such problematic area at your place of work.

Slow down for a moment and remember this.

Remember that you have something beside your crackberry to give your attention.  You have something beside your work.  You have someone significant that would really appreciate you remembering….

Them.

Today, ask your significant someone a couple curious questions and see where it leads.  Go wherever they lead.  Give them your full attention and lose yourself in their world.  Discover something small and maybe something big.  Remember that what our spouse or our best of friends really need is so simple and seemingly so rare.

They need to know that you remember.  That you care.  AND, that as crazy as it sounds, that you’ve been thinking of them.

What gets all your best thinking?

Who gets what’s left?

Who is left behind?

How would your significant other answer?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more…

Mine for this…

Transformational leaders play Curious George and My Way is The Highway.  This is BTL 101.  You know this.  You’ve all heard this before. In fact, it’s like a freakin’ broken record to most.  Come on Chet, give it a break and give us something new.  Well, this may not be new, but it’s clearly something my client, today, needed reminding.

History’s most transformational leaders not only play both ends of the scale, they play through the middle.  The play past the end, and prior to the start.  They play ‘em all.  They rewrite the scale.  Huh?

Translation.  Great leaders are versatile.  Flexible.  AND, at the same unchanging in their CORE.  Huh?

Yea, BABY.

BTL leaders not only play Curious George and My Way is The Highway.  They play whatever the moment requires and use their full arsenal of capabilities.  

Why?

Because they want to and can’t imagine not.

And, this list is constantly expanding.  They can be “steady as she goes,” when that is exactly what the situation requires. They can also “mine for conflict” and be intense beyond belief, when that’s the highway.  They can hold the team accountable with nearly “reckless abandon” and then “hold and hug” just as quickly.  They can ask piercing questions that cause those around them to really think.   And they can ask really curious ones that cause their team to feel they’ve been heard and understood.  Magic.

They find themselves playing so many roles they can’t even keep track.  Yet somehow, they’ve never felt more comfortable just playing themselves.  BTL leaders are comfortable living in paradox.  They do whatever it takes to build themselves and the team.  They are after performance.  They are willing to do…

Whatever it takes.

Today, one of my new clients got a little uncomfortable and embraced it.  Today, I watched and modeled what it’s like to play both extremes and, to even, go “off the charts.”  Today a couple direct reports told the truth…

Eventually.

CEO disease is real for a reason.  

What are you doing to mine for conflict?

What are you doing to clarify your vision and to connect your team?

Why do these two go hand in hand?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more…

Repair this…

We are slow learners, aren’t we?  In fact, do the words “fast” and learner even belong together?  

Litmus test.

Think back to your personal learning.  Jordan, my son, as quickly as he’s picked up the game of Poker, would NOT say he has learned the game “fast.”  He would tell you that he’s putting in his hours and that he’s fascinated, curious, and committed to speeding his learning process.  There’s just no short way there.  To mastery, that is.  

We are slow learners.  Fact.  The road to mastery is a minimum of 10,000 hours.  Talk about slow.

I wish my learning was FAST.  Fact.  It is NOT.  Let me give you an example.  One of my big dreams is to become a master builder for my family, friends, and clients.  I am fascinated, curious, and committed to discovering what makes others tick and how I can help them achieve their big dreams.  This is a lifelong journey and one that I, oftentimes, feel isn’t going anywhere fast.  I amaze myself at how slowly I learn.  AND, how often my stumble is caused by the same root problem.  Here it is.  This is so basic, it’s almost funny.

Almost.

I want to fix another.  I rush to judge like a banchee.  The minute I hear a problem from one of my family members, the minute I hear a complaint, the minute I hear the least little nag, I jump to GIVE them the answer.  I see what ails them with crystal clarity.  BTW, what is their problem anyway?  I mean why in the world can’t they see such an obvious way forward.  You know what I mean?

Are you kidding me?  Nope.

I catch myself, after the fact, and want to kick my own teeth in.  How could I be so stupid.  I’m the freakin’ expert here on what makes people tick and I keep tripping over myself.  

Note to self…

Nobody wants to be given the answer even when they’re begging for it.  I know this.  I study this.  AND, I trip and stumble over this.  I never stop needing to be REMINDED.   Houston, we’ve got a problem…

Yes we do.  And we don’t want any freakin’ expert “fixing us.”  Nope.  

We humans simply want to be heard and understood.  We want someone to comfort us with their gaze, their full attention, their LOVE, and their lack of judging.  Once we feel that, we just might want their thoughts.  We just might trust and desire their repair.  Never prior.  And yet I’m one big “flapjaw.”  Out with the fix when they take their first “cleansing” breath.  I do this all the time.

Slowly, I’m learning.  Slowly.

The only repair business that us humans need to really master is this one.  All leaders are actually master repairmen.  Masters at repairing relationships. NOT, masters at fixing those around them.  Never that.  Masters in saying I’m sorry.  Masters at moving toward another with the objective of repairing the relationship.  Magic.

This Sunday, make it a repair day.

Slowly…

Leadership and Pornography

Okay, now that I have your attention…let’s talk about sexy stuff:

LEADERSHIP!

(What did you think I was going to talk about)?

Former Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart is perhaps best remembered, at least outside legal circles, for his opinion in a 1964 film censorship case that “hard-core pornography is hard to define, but I know it when I see it.” Not too many folks remember that he went on to add “and this film is not hard-core pornography.”

I wonder if defining “leadership” suffers from the same difficulty. Go ahead and Google the term “leadership” and you’ll find about 23 Million entries. Why is it so hard to agree on a definition? This may not concern the average Joe on the street, but a band called BUILT TO LEAD ought to take a position on the matter, don’t you think?

“Leadership.” We know it when we see it, right?

Hmmm…not so fast. If this were a court case, we’d need to consider the objective facts of evidence, rather than mess around with a subjective definition. If you and your company were brought up on charges before a judge like Potter Stewart, would there be enough evidence to convict you of “hard-core leadership?”

Let’s examine the physical evidence of great leadership together. What conditions must be present for us to “know it when we see it?”

Please feel free to comment back as to what you think constitutes actual evidence of great leadership. I want to compile the most practical, hard-hitting evidence I can.

Here are a few observations Pete and I talked about today over lunch:

1. To be convicted of hard-core leadership, you’d have to be guilty of delivering exceptional, sustained financial performance year after year. Nothing substitutes for results, and leadership is just a fancy hobby if the results aren’t there. That means greater rates of revenue growth than your competitive peer group, and fatter margins overall. It does not necessarily mean higher market share, although the judge will admit that evidence if it’s there along with the growth rate and profits. Lots of big companies have stopped leading, and lots of little one are kicking proverbial butt. (Read Small Giants if you haven’t already).

2. Next might be evidence of what drove that superior performance. Surely happy, loyal customers would constitute hard evidence of some kind of leadership. This would be especially true if your customers were willing to refer you and your company to other potential customers. Since the purpose of all businesses is ”getting and keeping customers” according to Peter Drucker, this would be another point in the indictment of your hard-core leadership.

3. It follows that happy customers are tough to produce unless there’s further evidence of smoothly aligned internal processes and supporting systems across your span of leadership. Evidence of this would most likely indicate an organization structured around the work of delivering happy customers, rather than around political silos, pet projects, insulated departments, or unresponsive bureaucracies.

4. Because it’s impossible to sustain happy customers with unhappy, incompetent employees, especially in a service business, the court would also hear evidence about how inspired and enabled your “followers” might be. Strong evidence for your conviction as a hard-core leader would be positive indicators of employee longevity, loyalty, pride, trust in one another, satisfaction with personal development, referral of friends for open positions, and the rate of applications per open position relative to your competitive peer group.

5. The best and the brightest employees gravitate to companies that are not merely delivering today’s results, but who are also innovating new products and services organically for tomorrow’s growth. This is perhaps the most practical example of hard-core leadership–a strong innovation piepline. It’s presence convicts a leader as someone who has defined the future vision, invested in that vision, and has people who are actively engaged in creatively bringing the vision about.

6. Finally, the most telling evidence of hard-core leadership, and the main reason why we “know it when we see it,” is the presence of other great leaders around you and in development as your successors. True leadership is always about enabling others to lead. Ipso Facto!  If this is presented as evidence against you and your company, forget it. You’re busted. You will be convicted of hard-core leadership. But there’s hope of getting the charges against you of hard-core leadership thrown out:  How many BAD leaders do you tolerate?

If we prepared a brief on your company, how would it look?

Which of these six points of evidence would make the case? Which wouldn’t?

What are you doing about it right now?

If we looked for evidence of great leadership in you and at your company, would we know it if we saw it?

Would any friends of the court care to comment?

19 to 27 to…

Read the last post before proceeding.  The one titled 19 to 27 to 35.  This one won’t make sense without that context.

Good.

The team then heard the real number from me.  The number you can read about in the book Born to Run, if you’re the type that needs to know the source.  The real number, when our running strength slips back to our running strength at 19 is not 35.  Our decline is not linear.  Not even close.

64.

64 is the real number.  Are you kidding me?  Nope.

This number may be hard for you to believe, it wasn’t for me.  Want some more evidence?  Go to the website for the Leadville 100 trail race.  Look back over the previous years winners and notice an Indian sounding name that appears as the winner in 1992, I believe it was.  Then google his age.

Want more.  Ask me to tell you the story of the 80 something woman that rode her bike up Mount Iseran, or the three 70 something men that rode just ahead of me all the way up to the top of Mount Galibier.  These mountains are “out of category” Tour De France climbs.  Translation, the Tour rates it’s mountain climbs from a category 4 to a category 1, with one being the toughest.  Out of category means they are beyond classification.  Too tough for a label.  

Nobody must have told them.

Yesterday, we challenged the individuals at our practice to capture a big dream for themselves that would be physically challenging and that would give them energy.  Beyond losing weight.  Looking good.  Keeping up with the boss, or any other “outside in” motivation.  It could be going on a three day cancer walk to climbing Mount Everest to swimming the English Channel.  The key was that it was something they wanted to do.  Something, maybe from way back, that would make them smile.  Next we asked them to gain clarity with the “why” behind their dream.  Why did this give them energy?  Why was this something important for them?  Why questions are powerful.  Answering them, with clarity, even more so.

Lastly we asked them who else they would involve.  Who would they invite to go along, to be a part of it, to make it better, or to simply support their effort.  So, in summary here’s their productive actions:

1.  Dream again.  Dream big.  Dream about something physical that you want to accomplish.

2.  Get to the “why’s” behind the dream.

3.  Determine who you want to do this with.  

4.  Go and connect them to your dream and allow them to influence it’s direction.  

5.  Choose a baby step to move you toward your dream.  

6.  Set up reminders to keep you going with the baby steps until they become baby habits, and then big disciplines down the line.

Enjoy the journey.

The truth is that we are listening to some bad, uninformed scripts in our heads.  We are buying the lie that tells us that with age, all we can count on is the decline.  And a rapid one, at that.  That is simply not true.  The truth is that we need to dream again.  Like we did back in high school or middle school, or elementary school, or whenever it was that we stopped…

Dreaming.

And, today, start it back up.  We have an engine that was meant to be used.  Carve out little baby steps of time and effort and get after something that gives you energy.  Get someone alongside and it will be so much more fun.  Before long, you’ll have more energy and the summit will be back in your sight.  And, here’s the really cool part.  Do not miss this…

The same dream and DO recipe applies to your work and to all the other CORE inspired aspects of your life.  

Dream and Do.

The only thing stopping you is…

You.

I hope to see you on the trail…

19 to 27 to 35…

Today Johnnythegurue and I met with one of our favorite clients.  We took them through a little BTL practice.  This is what we LOVE to do.  We played.  They played too.  You could tell by the body language and the amount of laughter.  Always can.

BTW, what signals does your body language transmit when you are in your work?  Moving on…

Here’s a quick summary of the ground we covered with this team.

We started with a question.  Here it is.  Do NOT miss this.  This could be HUGE…

First the setup.  According to a wide variety of neuroscientists (experts), we begin a linear “hockey stick” of progression from age 19 to age 27.  We grow, don’t get me wrong, prior to age 19.  But according to all kinds of research the peak strength, of our physical bodies, really jumps at 19.  At 27, however, the human body reaches its summit.  

In other words, we all have a PEAK.  

This is great news for our youngest son Taylor.  He’s already stronger than I am and, at 13, he’s NOT even started his strength burst, much less even caught sight of his summit.  Good for him.  Bummer for yours truly.  I’m 23 years past my prime and, apparently, “slip sliding away.”  Yikes…

The top of the mountain.  AND, the valley below.

Once we step beyond year 27 it’s a slippery slope of decline.  There have been a number of studies, of late, to determine the rate of decline.  In other words, if we peak physically at 27 and the hockey stick of progression begins at 19, we have a 8 year run where we’re getting stronger and stronger and stronger.  Got it.

The question I asked was a simple one.  How many years will it take someone that continues to “work it” to fall back to their age 19 strength?  The team pondered the thought and then wrote down their number.  They wrote the age, they believed, when someone would “backslide” to their age 19 strength.

35.

The team, on average, thought the age was 35.  In other words, they believed that the human body declines at the same hockey rate that it inclines.  If it takes us 8 years of rocketing upwards, it must take the same 8 years of plummeting into the abyss.  I had to marvel at their logic.  It kinda made sense.  Plus, just look around you.  How many 36 year olds look remotely like they could take on anyone in their teens?  Are you kidding me!

What do you think?

What’s your number?

Are you still peaking or on the decline?

What keeps one going even when the body is slowing, slowing, slowing?

Tell me more.

Tomorrow, I’ll do the same…