Every team, to perform at it’s peak, requires a clear vision of where they’re going, honest, immediate feedback, deep focus in the present moment, 10,000 hours of domain specific “practice,” and enough passion to fuel the journey.

AND, every team, on this journey toward peak performance will have an abundance of “tension.”  

The vision will be clear to one and hazy to another.  The moment will require multi-tasking and the feedback will lack timeliness.  There will be too many days of never ending dullness and drudgery. There will be only occasional and momentary times of rocket fueled passion.  

Some practices will produce magic and some will simply be stale. Some team members will be on when others are off.  We will all assume too much and understand each other too little.  Some members will shut down in these moments of tension and some will explode with anger.  Some will tend toward thinking their way forward at the exclusion of their emotions and some will tend toward feeling and finding their way.  The result will be an abundance of…

CONFLICT.

Transformational teams have the same amount of conflict as normal, dysfunctional, and transactional ones.  The difference lies in how they see it.  Transformational teams understand that conflict is not the problem.  They embrace it.  Mine for it.  Allow the individuals involved to experience it in different, even conflicting ways.  

Transformational teams don’t bury it.  They don’t sweep it under the rug.  They deal with it in often clumsy, messy ways.  But, the difference is that they deal with.  They learn how to honor their differences and to fight to improve performance, not simply to prove their point.  They do all this with a strong sense of purpose because they clearly know where they’re going.  The clarity of their vision guides them.  

AND, they are comfortable with the fact that they will never be on the same page, never share the exact same vision, never take the journey toward that end on the exact same highway, never be completely understood by those around them, and never be recognized for all that they’ve done.  And, still, they will show up.  They will, “Look up, get up, and never give up,” as Michael Irvin once said.  

AND, they do NOT hold back.  They do not play it safe.  Freedom and honesty  are the default.  Chemistry breaks into these teams in much the same way that buried conflict breaks up most others.  In an unexpected moment.  The truth is that both have been building for a long time.  A very long time…

Today, I invested a few good hours with ONE such team.  They are embracing the tension together.  They are on the road to peak performance and they are struggling.  Very cool.

Which are you building? 

What part of this rant describes you?

Is this the way your team sees you?

Are you getting comfortable living in the tension?

Do you see why this is the road to peak performance and why the struggle aint going away?

Do you see why this is true for your team at work and your team at home?

Is one more tense for you than another?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more.

The beer was especially good last night.  It only took one pint of Guinness.  One pint plus one son.  One son plus one friend.  One son, one friend, and one friends best friend.  Two friends, one son, one pint, and two bands made for one memorable night.  Yea, baby.

Last night my son, Jordan and my friends Joshua and Natalie took in two bands at Skullys.  We were blown away by Seabird and The Civil Wars.  These two bands are just getting started and last night we enjoyed a front row seat to their work.  Go to Itunes or wherever you buy your music and get it.  Buy both Seabird album releases (Dec. 15) and at least buy The Civil Wars song titled, Poison & Wine.  This track tells the bitter and the sweet message clearer than any words I’ve read.  Very cool.

Seabird was amazing.  They played almost the entire new album and it’s going to be a keeper. My son, Taylor, turned me onto these guys just this past week.  He’s been listening to them on Radio U. as it’s his favorite spot on the dial.

In person, their passion matched their sound, and then some.  If I could bottle up Aaron’s (lead singer) passion and inject it into every CEO, the world would be filled with products and services that you and I would WANT to buy.

We would believe, because the leaders belief was fueled by the pure rocket fuel of passion.  We would NOT need to be sold.  Wouldn’t that be the berries…

Today, take a listen to somebird.  Not just any bird, somebird that is fueled by their LOVE for their work, their love for their team, and whose face says it all.  

Last night I got injected with some more pure rocket fuel.  I looked these bands in the eye and we connected.  I love watching individuals, teams, and leaders living and working in alignment with their passions.  There is no substitute.  There is no need nor any way to fake it. There isn’t a more pure source of power.  AND, my God, do we need it.  The world in which you work needs “it.” The only way to get it in the world in which we work, is to have “it” in the hearts of those with which we work.  The only way to get “it” in the hearts of those with which we work is to have it in the hearts of a few.  The only way to make sure it’s in the hearts of a few, is to make sure it’s in the only heart we can control.  

“Be the change, Gandhi said, that you want to see in the world.”

Want to live in a world with more passion and purpose?

Inject some pure rocket fuel into your system.  AND, start with injecting a very specific target in your system.  Inject pure rocket fuel into yourself.  Get “it.”

AND, soon, coming to a flock near you, somebird will be singing.  Really singing, with all they’ve got.  Magic.

I can hardly wait…

When the leader stops believing, someone will soon be leaving.  

I wrote this thought down a couple years ago when putting together version 5.0 of the Eight Essentials of Leading Teams.  When a leader stops believing in one of his/her team, I had observed, that someone would soon be leaving.

Fired from the system.

Over the past few years I’ve noticed a trend.  As the economy has worsened, more and more leaders have decided that a warm body is better than nobody.  Leaders, using the term loosely, have become more and more tolerant of mediocrity.  This is a classic ingredient in the recipe for a slow, and systematic death.  Once the leader loses belief in another and loses the desire and the will to confront, the leader becomes the problem.  The leader is now positionally in place and influentially…

GONE.

The rest of the team sees this with 20/20 clarity.  The leader, not so much.  Here’s what the team sees when they look at a leader that now tolerates warm but unproductive performers.  They see someone that they, insert top performers, no longer believe is worthy of their best effort.  They see a leader that they no longer want to follow with their committed best.  This leader is now the problem.  AND…

somebody will soon be leaving.

Somebody we can ill afford to lose.

The recipe for leading any team is simple and really HARD.  There are thousands upon thousands of nuances to “transforming a collection of individuals into ONE.”  And one of those ingredients, one that is never easy and one that takes uncommon strength coupled with deep humility, is a relentless closing of ones own integrity gaps.  Huh…

If you find yourself talking about one of your team with your builder, your coach, your inner circle, your spouse, your best friends, your YPO forum, your TEC group, your whatever, stop wasting your words.

STOP.

Start facing the one person that needs to hear your words.  Tell them where you are losing your belief in them.  Be very clear, concise, and direct about what you expect.  AND, take the time to ask them what’s going on? What am I missing?  Are you hurting somewhere?  Have you lost your desire for this team and this work?  How can I help?  

Listen to their response and go deeper.  

Write it up and make sure it’s clear, concise, and direct.  Candid conversations without the written word are a waste of time.  Write up exactly what you want.  Give them the chance to turn toward you and to turn up their performance.  And set the bar for performance and hold them, and everybody to the target.  And make the hard call if the performance does NOT turn.

Leaders are believers.  Never forget that our belief in you, as our leader is essential to sustaining our best performers best efforts.  And, the moment we sense that your belief is waning our eyes start to wander and before you know what happened, somebody will be leaving.

Somebody we can ill afford to lose…

Yesterday’s service ended with the congregation singing, My Hope is Built.  What a perfect way to finish.  Yesterday, I was given the opportunity to teach at my friends (Joshua and Natalie) Church.  For the first time in my life, I was being asked to teach at a Church on a Sunday morning.  I was kinda blown away.  I’m not a Preacher but I do have a heart for God.  I’m just a little bit scary to put in front of a congregation.  I’m just saying…

When you walked into the basement sanctuary, you knew you were home.  The place just oozed inviting.  The music was amazing, John, Chrissy and their band stroked it out of the park with ease.  Peter was a rock.  He told a great story about changing our identity.  He helped us see ourselves as Prince and Princess instead of paupers hoping for any provision we could get our hands on.  Very cool.

Natalie gave us all courage and asked us to pass it along.  She asked us to write, if we wanted, and pass a note right in the middle of class. Talk about a cool teacher…

Another man whose name escapes, gave us an artists rendering that was awesome.  And at a little past noon, Joshua invited me up to share a brief message about what causes a high performance body, in this case, the body is the Church.  As always, I involved the audience and they did NOT disappoint.  The message was about Johnnythegurue’s blog…

The difference between alone and all one.

The difference is always the same.  The one “L” of a difference is LOVE.  Yesterday, I let go of control and asked the team to play BTL style. They did not disappoint.  They rarely do.  Whenever the leader lets go, the team, if they’re worth a nickel, will more than cash the check. Yesterday was not the exception.

Here’s what I’ll remember.

I’ll remember that my Mom was there in the third row.  Miss and Tay were too.  To my surprise, Pete and Chris, our dear friends came as well.  Our neices Natalie, Jade (and Nate), Katie (and Steve), and Leah came too.  Katie’s friend “Rika” came too.  My new daughter, Keturah came as well. She had to fit this into her day and she did.  Johnnythegurue was tied up with Thanksgiving family but his texts came through.  I’ll remember the note of encouragement from Natalie and the blessing from Joshua.  I’ll remember that after the service Paige asked for my contact because she’s breaking open a group on OSU and loved what she heard.  I’ll remember that Nate’s Dad and Mom came and that we may have more in common than simply Nate and Jade.  Who knew.  

I’ll remember how much LOVE radiated in a basement sanctuary amongst 100 souls.  I’ll remember that size is overrated.  I’ll remember the emotions that I felt and how the service fit together as if it had been planned.  AND, of course, it had not.  AND, I’ll remember that our son, Taylor, tonight, at dinner, said…

“Hey Dad when are we going back to that Church?”

Isn’t it funny that my memory of a day where I was given the chance to teach for the first time ever, won’t be around my teaching?  Huh…

Are we made for relationships or what…

There’s another question we all hear from time to time, usually offered as a challenge to somebody’s behavior. So, on the first day back from our national holiday of thanks-giving (and overeating and shopping and football and travel), let’s challenge each other to think about this question in a slightly new light…

What’s the BIG IDEA of your LIFE?

Why are you here?

What is your PURPOSE?

What’s the purpose of purpose, anyhow?

The reason I’m interested in your answers is, literally, a matter of life and death. No kidding. Really. Pinky swear…

A growing body of research among tens of thousands of middle-aged and older people across the globe suggests that those who feel their lives have meaning (“why”) and purpose (“what”) have significantly better and longer lives than those who don’t.

Here’s some of the data:

Purpose makes you healthier: A 2005 study that followed 12,600 middle aged Europeans found that those who felt their lives had meaning had much lower rates of cancer and heart disease;

Purpose is associated with long life: The Blue Zones Project, a study of the world’s longest-lived peoples, discovered that “having a reason to get out of bed” was strongly correlated to living past the age of 100, and enjoying stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure, lower risk of heart attack and cancer, and more rapid healing from injury;

Working works, and retirement doesn’t: A 2005 study conducted by Shell Oil followed 3500 Shell employees. Those who retired at age 55 were twice as likely to die during the next two years as a matched group of people who kept working. A longer-term study tracked nearly 17,000 men and women over 12 years and found that those who retired early had a 51% higher mortality rate than those who stayed on the job;

Jackie Wilson was right: Belief in a higher power, and higher calling, can “lift you higher”–A 1999 study of 20,000 Americans found that churchgoers, regardless of faith tradition, were FOUR TIMES less likely to be depressed than their non- churchgoing neighbors. They outlive them, too. Whites who regularly attend religious services live an average of 7 years longer. Amazingly, blacks live 14 years longer.

Purposeful people don’t just live longer, they’re happier while they’re here. All these studies point to an emerging truth that “the life in your years can add years to your life.”

Hey, quality AND quantity. Sign me up.

So, back to our questions…

What’s the big idea of your life? Do you know WHY you’re here? WHAT are you living for?

If you struggle with HOW to go about defining a purpose for your life, here’s a practical, easy, and fun suggestion you can act on this week to get you started:

Intentionally create an undisturbed hour or two in a place all by yourself–a “WHEN” and a “WHERE” all your own. Slow down. Breathe. Then take up a pen and write down everything you LOVE in this life. People, places, things–sure, write them down. Savor the blessing of their presence in your life. Make sure to tune in especially to activities that bring you peace, joy, happiness, and a sense of accomplishment. Things you do really well, and maybe things you don’t do so well but you love to do, anyway. We call these your LOVE-TO’s, as in this example:

“I love to connect with people, and connect them to insights, knowledge, and wisdom I have come to know that they want to know to fulfill a larger PURPOSE.”

That’s one of my top three LOVE-TO’s. It’s one of the few “WHAT’s” in my life that connects to the big “WHY” I am here. It was a career-changing insight for me. I now have the pleasure and privilege to do this almost every day, often in a state of pure “flow” or joy that allows time to melt away as I serve others doing what I am uniquely designed to do. It is so enjoyable that I have no intention of ever retiring from this activity. As long as I’m able, I’ll be helping others this way.

Once you have a set of your own LOVE-TO’s written down, look for the story linking them. Chances are good that within that story lies your PURPOSE. More on this second step coming in the near future…

For now, just get going on your LOVE-TO’s.

WHAT are you waiting for?

If a person is “known by the company they keep,” wouldn’t it just make sense that a company is known by the culture they keep?   Study great companies and their leaders and you will see that history remembers more about the culture of the person and the culture of the company than it does about the persons “work” and the company’s products.  

If this is the least bit true, why do so many people invest so little time in cultivating true friends and instead, settle for bunches of acquaintances that they hold at arms length?  

AND, why do so few companies appear to spend so little time thinking about their legacy but focus so intensely on the quarter?  AND, why do so few CEO’s cut their pay and their benefits before cutting yours?  AND, why do so few leaders understand how all these decisions link to the culture that is rewarded, that is recognized and that is often not the culture espoused?  Huh…

What company are you keeping closest?

Why?

What is the culture in your twenty square feet?

What is the culture you create and encourage in your company?

Why would you work where the company culture doesn’t align with your own?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more…

Today I rode with a friend on a cool early morning.  We rode into some sleet and light rain and got a little more cold than we had bargained for.  The ride had the potential to turn into something miserable.  We rode a little harder and our bodies responded by warming up.  

Like so much of life, it was less than perfect.

We still, however, enjoyed the ride.  We focused on the gift and the fact that we were able to ride.  I wish it were so easy with family, friends, and clients… 

Today, THE big meal awaits.  Miss is already busy in the kitchen.  She’s been busy for days putting together all the details to make our Thanksgiving a memorable one.  She’s been focused.  Me, not so much.  Yes, I have much to be thankful for.  Do you?

Think about America.

This crazy experiment, taken by less than perfect but desperate men and women only a few hundred years ago, still has some legs.  We wobble quite often.  We sometimes appear to be sawing our own legs out from under ourselves.  What’s up with that!  We lean way too far back to keep our balance, yet somehow we have yet to FALL.  This experiment is less than perfect, but man does it beat the alternative.

Today, as you sit in your comfortable chairs around your cozy Thanksgiving Day table, take a few minutes and remember “why” you are able to do so.  Do NOT focus your mind on what you’ve done to earn it.  Focus your mind, instead, on what others have done before you arrived on this planet, before you were brought into this country, or before the internet gave us this ease with which we can connect. Remember, your focus matters as does mine.  We choose.  Our choices have consequences.

Focus on the blessing.

Focus on the blessing from your less than perfect family tree.  Focus on the blessing from your less than perfect community.  Focus on the blessing from your less than perfect company.  Focus on the blessing from your less than perfect love and your less than perfect lover.  Focus on the blessing from your less than perfect friends.  Focus on the blessing from ABOVE.  Focus on the greatest gift.  His gift of GRACE.

Acknowledge His perfection.

AND, remember that you didn’t earn Grace.  Nor did you earn your “freedom,” in so many ways.  Gratitude comes from our attitude, I’ll grant that.  

Our attitude, however, is much more complicated.  We all tend to feel the injustices committed against us as if we’ve been “cut to the bone.”  We feel somewhat differently when we make a “mistake” toward another.  We feel those injustices are blown out of proportion and inform our family, friends, and clients to simply get over it.  After all, we’ve barely delivered a prick to the skin…

We really have to work to focus the mind and the heart if we’re to develop empathy for another when our focus is naturally so self centered.  As Anais Nin said many moons ago, “We don’t see things the way they are, we see things the way we are.”  

Today, take the time to focus on how much you’ve been given.  Reflect on the Grace you’ve been offered and the power that comes with receiving.  

Enjoy your meal and your time with your less than perfect family and friends.  Focus on the blessing.

Oh, and thank you for putting up with my less than perfect writing and my way less than perfect grammar.

Happy Thanksgiving…

Today, just two days before Thanksgiving, my friend David is doing something bold and daring.

After almost nine months unemployed, David is the newly named President of an enterprise in New England. The new job forces him to commute each week from Columbus, while his wife and two teenaged kids try to maintain a normal routine while keeping the house here neat enough to show and sell.

Despite the good fortune of a great new assignment, his separation from his family is tough. All the family’s stress from this situation is compounded by David’s weekly absences. David has been feeling drained and lonely by the huge demands on him from a new, challenging assignment and no one to come home to at night. His “home” is a hotel room.

Three weeks ago, David was shown a venerable old townhouse in the historic quarter of his new city within walking distance of a charming, compact shopping district. The townhouse was not for sale, only for rent, but it was available immediately and in a school district he and his wife had targeted for the kids. The monthly rent was ridiculous, but the owners seemed willing to negotiate. The square footage of the townhouse was tiny compared to their old home, and it lacked the features they’d grown used to.

I wasn’t “ideal”…

David thought the kids would “hate” it…

The “plan” was to sell the house here before they moved…

And he brought the brochure back to Columbus to share it with his wife anyway.

Later that weekend, after the whole family had carefully reconsidered their original plan, weighed the pros and cons of an immediate move, David was stuck. He wanted the family with him, but he worried that showing an empty house here might prolong its going unsold in this down market. It helped a bit that the kids were at least lukewarm, not cold, to the idea of moving now.

Finally, his wife asked him: “Where’s your sense of adventure? Let’s go.”

Her simple remark hit him like a ton of bricks. God bless our truth tellers. He asked himself, “Where, just exactly where, has my ’sense of adventure’ gone?” He couldn’t remember the last time he actually took a real risk. Even taking his new job, a plum opportunity for anyone in this economy, involved very little downside risk for a guy who’d been unemployed. Awakened to the truth, David realized that the lack of risk-taking in his life had made him cautious, tentative, and bland.

Today, David and his family are moving into their new home. Together, as they should be, again. “Venturing”–as in risking, and MOVING anyway.

Human beings are designed for movement, risk taking, stress, and growth. On all dimensions–physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual–we atrophy if we remain in our “comfort zones” too long.

Our bodies are designed to move, yet most of us don’t; not nearly enough to avoid muscle atrophy and fat build up. Lots of creature comforts, comfort food, and comfy couches surround us…

Our minds and brains are crafted to stretch and learn and think. Yet most of us arrive at a level of adequate competence in our early 30’s and then stop. Ask folks you know the old question: “Read any good books lately?” and make note of their answers…

Our spirits are fitted for flight, yet most rarely leave the hangar. We’re too busy, too distracted, too worried to sit still and be. When was the last time your soul stirred to a sunrise, a movement from a symphony, a child’s sigh…a prayer?

We are made to love, and that always involves risk. As C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket–safe, dark, airless, motionless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

Growth is impossible without stressing, stretching, stirring, and risking ourselves.

How big is your comfort zone?

When was the last time you left it deliberately? How did you handle the awkwardness, vulnerability, and discomfort?

Where’s your sense of adventure?

What are you afraid of?

When I return to Kansas, I’m overwhelmed by it.  When I look out my office window, I sense it.  When I study the history of a great individual and their great team, I’m in awe of it.  When Jordan and Keturah decide to head west, I’m faced with it.  When Krit’s goes to Arizona instead of coming here, I’m hit with it.  When I walk into Andrews bedroom and look at his desk, his cards, and his certificates, I’m stung with it.  When I look in the mirror, I can’t help but see it.

When I look at my Builder’s Journey, I’m reminded of the fact that “it” isn’t ever going away.  When I hear the “truth” from one of my family, friends, or clients, I really feel it.  When I’m alone and reflecting about my life and my loved ones, I’m struck by it.  When I’ve got a bad case of “dragging ass,” I curse it.  When I anticipate the arrival or the departure of one that I’ve come to LOVE, my heart breaks in anticipation of it.  When I pray, I’m keenly aware of it.  When things don’t work out, I’m down with it.  When things go even better than I had anticipated, I’m fine with it.  I could go on. I’ll stop.

What is this “it” to which I refer?

This is becoming a central element to my worldview.  It’s taken me quite awhile to see this “and,” but it’s crystal clear to me now.  Here “it” is.  

I am learning to “embrace the bitter AND the sweet.”

“It’s” taken me over 50 years to come to the conclusion that life is about “anding” the bittersweet moments.  As I learn to embrace this fact, the bitter is losing it’s aftertaste and the finish, I might add, is getting sweeter all the time.  

Our belief system, our worldview, if you will, makes a world of difference.  

Are you authoring your worldview or simply parroting the beliefs of another?

Are you too busy, too distracted, and too driven to take the time to think, reflect, and build your conscious worldview?

Huh?

How do you challenge your deeply held beliefs?

Why is this important?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more…

Roughly thirty percent of all family run businesses “successfully” transition to the second generation.  Yes, that translates to 7 out of 10 that do NOT.  Around twelve percent make it to the third gen and less than three make it to the fourth.  Yup.  Less than three percent of all family run businesses survive to the fourth generation.  

These are often very successful systems under the watchful eye of the founder.  Why such a low transition rate?

Public companies don’t appear to fare any better.  If family run companies are America’s bread and butter, clearly the Fortune 500 represents the American dream.  Many of our most successful public ones started as the “Mom and Pop” variety.  True.

Here’s a scary question.  How old, on average, are the Fortune 500?  These are the 500 most successful businesses and the “household” names we’ve come to know and “love.”  How long have they been around?

The answer surprised me.  Turns out the average life span, today, is 40 years and falling.  And, one could argue, is GM really cruising?  Is McDonalds lovin’ it?  Is Delta flying high?  Is Citigroup or any bank for that matter, the place you trust to invest your hard earned coin? Soon, many of these systems will share a similar fate to Burger Chef, Bonanza, and Ritzys.  They’ll be…

Forgotten.

Why are there so few examples of sustained, individual excellence?

Why are there so few examples of excellent family businesses that have stood the test of time?

Why are the most successful public companies dying within 40 years of their founding?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why do you believe that the system you are working in is the exception?

Why, pray tell, are you continuing to work in it, if you do NOT?

What are you doing with your work and life that will be memorable?

What is it that your company is doing that will be worth remembering?

What are you doing to build mastery in your craft?

Tell me more, my friend.

Tell me more…